Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Sometimes I really start to wonder...

Supposedly I'm in a happy relationship, but... I haven't seen my boyfriend in almost a month. Does that mean that we're still together? Am I supposed to pretend he's here and nothing's wrong? I honestly have feelings for him, but... I just don't know anymore.

The relationship has just been ups and downs. When we were together the first time he bailed, I didn't see him again until a few months ago. I was willing to give the whole thing another shot because I figured that he had matured as much as I feel that I have. I'm not so sure now that he's vanished again.

It doesn't help that earlier I got to enjoy the view at the pool. I finally feel like I might be starting to have actual friends again, it's a nice feeling. Once we got a few of us out there, things got crazy. It almost felt like the old days to be honest. But back to what I was saying, there was definitely something that I've been looking at, and I got a much better look at it than before. I'm afraid that I might be... do I want to use the word "crushing"? No. I don't, but there it is anyway. GAH! What am I supposed to do?!

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